If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize