Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
