Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
