we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just googled if crying burns calories
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Randomize
