I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
