One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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