im having a threesome with these popsicles
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
