Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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