i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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