saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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