It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
