u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
