I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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