i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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