There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
