sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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