dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
