sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize