i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
