and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
