Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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