so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
