just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
