Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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