New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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