I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
