just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize