Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i now understand why vodka
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
