I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize