covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
