like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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