Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
