I'm gonna have a badass scar
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
