Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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