You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We need to feng shui this bitch.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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