I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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