Her vagina should come with caution tape.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
