just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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