his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
