The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
