I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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