hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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