I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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