I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
