What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
