What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
