I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
