OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
