Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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