did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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