Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
