I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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