butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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