Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
