I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
