Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
