and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
