i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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