Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
