you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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