kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
