hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
