Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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