shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize