Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
